Colorful Customers
by Aletta-Feather
Summary: Mr. Gold has a new-found source of humor: identifying the fairy tale persona of his customers. Series of one-shots. Set in season 1. (Answers now in chapter 7)
1. Teddy Bear

Teddy Bear

"You go on, sweetie, go into the shop." "But, why aren't you coming, mom?" "We haven't paid this week's rent yet, but he won't mention it, if you go in alone, so go on," she urges her daughter. The little girl enters the shop hesitantly and shy, carrying a teddy bear in her arms.

That's odd, such a small child, coming alone, Mr. Gold thinks. "How can I help you?" he asks as friendly as possible. "It's my teddy bear," the girl with honey colored hair answers. "The toy store couldn't fix it." "Let's have a look, shall we?" Mr. Gold takes the battered teddy bear and evaluates it. It is in an awful state. Stains and broken limps. "He fell out of the bunk bed yesterday, and this morning I spilled some cereal on it," she voluntarily admits. "Not his best week I guess," Mr. Gold replies. "No," the girl says sadly.

"Tell you what," he answers, bending slightly forward over the counter, "you leave your teddy bear with me, for a week or so, and perhaps I can heal him. Give him new fur, or a nice coat. Mend his broken bones. Would you like that?" "Oh, yes, thank you, thank you so much." The girl starts to smile and leaves the shop hopping cheerfully.


	2. The Suit

The Suit 

Mr. Gold is a little startled. A minute ago, a rather dignified looking man had entered his shop wearing… absolutely nothing. He is barely listening to his customer wondering if he should address this unusual attire or not. "Anyway, as I was saying, the best tailor in the world he is. The very best!" "Yes, yes. I'm sure," Mr. Gold mumbles, trying not to let on that he missed more than half of the conversation.

"And how can I help you today?" "Well," the man begins, "the suit is great, but the fabric is so delicate that I'm feeling a bit cold. So, I was looking for a beautiful vintage coat of some sort?" "I might have just the thing for you," Mr. Gold says, as he starts searching for Charming's old cloak. "It has fur around the collar, so it's nice and warm. Do people often inquire after the name of your tailor?" he asks casually. "No, they don't, but everyone is watching in admiration wherever I go," the customer replies.

"Here you are. It's a cloak fit for a prince, I'd say." Mr. Gold praises his ware. "Yes, yes, it is… and it goes very well with the color of my suit, don't you think?" Mr. Gold nods, almost unable to hide his smirk. As the man leaves the shop, a sudden thought makes his grin even wider; Sherriff Swan dealing with this little problem.


	3. Flying Carpet

Flying Carpet

A couple walks in, carrying a large Persian carpet. "We wondered if you would like to buy this carpet?" they ask Mr. Gold. "Why do you want to sell it?" he asks in return. "It's old and ugly; we want to refurnish our living room and this thing," the woman says, "does not belong in it anymore. If it ever did…" she adds. "It's not that ugly," the man protests. "It's been in our family for as long as I can remember."

"It looks good enough to consider the offer," Mr. Gold concludes after a quick look with his magnifying glass. "Anything else I need to know?" "Well, the kids left it outside in the rain one night," the man begins, but stops after a warning look of his wife. "Go on, don't be shy," Mr. Gold edges him on. "It's nonsense of course, but they read this old story of flying carpets, so they wanted to try it out." "Anything happen?" Mr. Gold inquires. "No, of course not," the woman replies.

After some bargaining, they decide on a price and a deal is made. The couple leaves the shop quarrelling about what to buy with the profit. Mr. Gold examines the carpet more closely this time. He doesn't rule out the possibility that it is a real flying carpet. But, how to test it? Mr. Gold decides to take it home. This particular item is not for sale.


	4. Matches

Matches 

Mr. Gold is searching in his archives. A strange occurrence had happened in his shop, yesterday evening, just before closing time. An old woman had entered and had relayed a strange tale about her missing granddaughter. Apparently the young girl had been selling lighters during the afternoon ―who knows why?― and had not returned. The grandmother had asked him if he had seen her walk by or if she had tried to sell him something.

He had not seen her. This morning he had heard, from several customers, that the girl had not yet been found. As he was arranging a few old antique meerschaum pipes, he suddenly remembered a girl selling matches, three weeks ago. He had bought some, although he thought it very odd, and asked for her name for the records. There it is, he's found the index card.

He is about to look at the name, when Sheriff Swan walks in, rather brusquely. "I take it you've heard the news," she says. "What news?" he asks. "The missing girl has been found, half an hour ago, in the woods. Sadly, she has died, not that surprising with these temperatures. Strangely enough, some of the lighters were empty, like she used them for something." "Perhaps to stay warm," Mr. Gold suggests. "What's even stranger is that she had a smile on her face, as if she was having a good time instead of dying." She has a puzzled look on her face. "No idea why."


	5. Selling Dreams

Selling Dreams

An annoying young woman is talking to Mr. Gold. She is not pleased with her purchase of merely two days earlier and has been lamenting for the past ten minutes. Mr. Gold is not in the habit of giving a refund, but he is sorely tempted this time. She is altogether too loud, and that's not all, her voice sounds like a whistling kettle.

"This dream catcher will simply not do. It has not caught dreams, these past two nights. Now my husband is something of an expert, so don't you try to talk yourself out of it!" She raises her fist in the air ―is she going to punch me?― and bangs it on the counter. "You might want to learn to control your emotions a bit," Mr. Gold snaps, not amused. She continues to vandalize his counter as her blond bun moves accordingly.

"You'll get your refund," Mr. Gold sighs. "As well as a restraining order for my premises. Mayor Mills eats out of my hand, and Sheriff Graham out of hers, so you get the general idea…" He smirks at his customer. So, that shut her up.


	6. Crumbs

Crumbs 

A young boy is searching the pawnshop. He wants to buy a present for his mom. Mr. Gold makes a few suggestions, but the boy rejects them. He wants to buy something special, something extraordinary. Finally, his eye catches a small stone statue.

When he is about to pay, he sees another interesting item. Another statue, this time of an ogre. "I'd like to have that one too," the boy points at the object. "Sure," Mr. Gold responds. He thinks it best not to mention that the statue is an actual turned-to-stone-and-shrunken ogre.

As the boy, and his gift wrapped statues, leaves his shop, Mr. Gold notices his rather large boots. That, and the hole in his backpack leaving a trail of crumbs, puts a smile on his face.


	7. Insomnia

Insomnia

A yawning woman is about to make a purchase at the pawnshop. She has suffered from insomnia for some time. The pharmacist could not help her. She has tried various drinks and pills but to no avail. Mr. Gold offers her a special pillow stuffed with soothing herbs. "Perhaps this will make you sleep," he encourages her. "It works for me." She leaves the shop, grateful and hopeful.

Several days later, she returns, looking slightly more energetic. Mr. Gold sighs as she enters. Please, not another complaint, he silently begs the universe. "How can I help you?" "I bought a pillow here, a few days ago.." the woman begins. "I remember. Was it not to your satisfaction?" "It is. Actually, I want to buy another one for my boyfriend." "Very good," Mr. Gold smiles contently. "It didn't work at first, though," she says mysteriously. "Oh?" "You see, my insomnia could not be cured by calming herbs because, well… My boyfriend decided it was funny to put a marble under my mattress." At this, Mr. Gold can not keep his face straight. The woman joins in with a giggle.

"Anyway, as my revenge, I'm giving him one of those pillows. He hates potpourri ―he thinks it smells like irritating old aunts― and this pillow is just perfect. Lavender and lemon balm to keep him calm," she smiles.

* * *

AN: Thanks for the reviews and following!

I've decided to give the answers, since some are not obvious or well-known fairytales. So, from now on, I'll give the answer in the next chapter, so you can still guess and won't see the spoiler in the chapter itself. Sometimes I change the details of the fairy tales a bit to make it more complicated and better suited for Storybrooke.

So the first chapters are: Teddy Bear = Goldilocks, The Suit = The Emperor's New Clothes, Flying Carpet = Aladdin (or Prince Husain of One Thousand and One Nights), Matches = The Little Match Girl, Selling Dreams = Tinker Bell (Peter Pan in Scarlet) and Crumbs = Hop-o'-My-Thumb or Little Thumbling.


	8. All that glitters

All that glitters

An ugly teenager has just bought a golden snow globe. "Perhaps this will warm her towards me," he states and grins hopefully. "She playing hard to get?" Mr. Gold asks, remembering his own problems in his past love life. "She promised to take me out sometime if I got her a really nice gift, so we'll see," he answers.

A few days later, Mr. Gold sees him again, out on the pier. "How did it go?" he wants to know. "She didn't want to at first, but her dad made her keep her promise." He smiles. Something about him had changed, but Mr. Gold could not put his finger on it. As he watches the seagulls and listens to the quacking toads it dawns on him.

* * *

AN: Insomnia = the Princess and the Pea.


	9. Silent Dance

Silent Dance 

A lovely couple has entered his shop. They have been looking at the jewellery display for quite awhile, but refused any help. Mr. Gold is observing them from a distance. Something seems off about them, they're behaving strangely. When the young man finally calls him for advice, he realizes what's been bothering him about them. The woman doesn't talk but uses gestures to communicate.

"We're looking for wedding rings and wanted something special. We've seen some nice pieces here but we need a pair." "Let me have a look. Not everything is at display, so I might be able to find what you seek." He opens a large jewellery box which contains several rings. "Ah, that's more like it," the man exclaims. Both he and his fiancé are mesmerised by the beauty of the rings. They eventually pick a pair, not exactly the same, but complementing each other. One ring has a large but delicate flower, the other is a circle of leaves.

The woman leaves the shop as she notices a friend outside and wants to greet her. The man stays behind and pays for the rings. "So how did you two meet?" Mr. Gold wonders aloud. "I saw her dancing one night and fell madly in love," he answers. "It hurts her feet, but she loves it too much to stop altogether."

* * *

AN: All that glitters = The Frog Prince


	10. Egging On

Egging On

Mr. Gold had just angrily forced a couple of greedy farmers out of his pawnshop. They had the nerve to ask if he could provide them with a counterfeit machine implying that he would probably have access to that kind of thing. Mr. Gold fervently dislikes the insinuation that he is some petty criminal. If only he had magic at his disposal; he would have really shown them!

The farmers are looking at their table which has a basket filled with large shiny eggs on it. "So, I guess that are the last ones," one of them sighs at the others. "Our luck has run out."

* * *

AN: Thanks for the reviews! I still have a few ideas but would like to get some suggestions on possible fairytales to use. Silent Dance = The Little Mermaid


	11. Fabulous Furniture

Fabulous Furniture 

A senior member of the City Council enters Mr. Gold's pawnshop. "Mr. Gold," he greets him jovially, "I have a somewhat curious request." "Oh," Mr. Gold answers, slightly intrigued. "It's about a piece of furniture, actually. You see, we need a new table for the board room, since the mayor angrily put her fist through the old one." His eyes are smiling deviously.

"The task fell upon me to deal with it. The other members urged me to find something different this time. Something more egalitarian, one might say." "Are you suggesting a table with a certain shape?" "Yes, yes, I am, indeed. Do you think you could oblige our request?"

"Of course, no trouble at all. I'll find you precisely what you need." The council member leaves happily. A few days later, the mayor does not know which chair to pick out, which place to choose, to assert her power.

AN: Egging on = The Goose That Laid The Golden Eggs


End file.
